This is probably one of the most commonly asked question by human. At some of my lowest point in life, I find myself goggling this question ALOT. Months ago I even find myself asking these questions constantly on a daily basis.
How to be happy? I don’t like my current situation. How can i get out of it? What do I want from life?
Don’t get me wrong. I have many reasons to be happy. I have amazing step kids, most tolerant parent, and ever supportive sibling. I have a house of my own to stay. I have my health, my forever loving friends who constantly check on me.
Things are good but you know, human mind always tend to focus on all the negatives.
I was focusing on the negatives,
So what change along the way?
I just make a conscious decision to constantly choose happiness. I might not be the best person I could be now, but I constantly choose to be nice and be happy to people around me (including stranger). I would gladly hold the door for any one and certainly would love to guide any stranger who lost their way if they ask me for road direction. Oh, not forgetting, I smile A LOT.
I am still far from perfect on mastering of happiness. Sometimes I do find myself going back to the negative self, but I just keep trying to be better each day. So do you want to have some peace and be happier with yourself? Here’s what have worked for me.
- Let go of your ugly past.
There is a need to acknowledge that sometimes we can’t change the situation, no matter how hard we try. Many times, things are not within our control. If you have done your best, be proud of yourself. Don’t hold grudges, move on and enjoy life. Holding on to grudges and grievances can only cause you to have a lot of bitterness in life. Let it go.
- Define YOUR happiness
Do you know what really makes you happy? Have you list down the things you think will make you happy? Remember, this is about you. Make yourself a priority this time. If you can’t figure this out on your own, ask a close pal.
Some of my happiest time is teaching fitness classes. Whats yours?
- Stop comparing yourself with others
We were all being compared to each other one way or another ever since we were young. From school results, to the schools we are from, to the occupation we are in, to the salary that we make and many more.
I chanced upon a very interesting video weeks ago from a well-known speaker.
“If you have just started working out yesterday, don’t compare and be jealous of the fabulous body of a muscular man who have been training for years. The starting line of this race is not the same. It does not mean you will not get there. But it does mean, this is not a fair comparison.”
Give yourself some slag. You know it’s not a fair competition. Work for it but don’t compare it. Not for now.
- Be a student and learn again.
It can be anything. Maybe you want to learn Salsa, MMA or even photography. Learning new things can give you great deal of happiness. Other than gaining new knowledge and new skill set, you might find yourself gaining new circle of friends or maybe even new opportunities. This might in return gives you more confidence and more happiness.
- Give more. Expect less.
Many times we tend to focus too much on our returns. We always think that we gave a lot, so why am I not seeing the return? With lesser expectation comes lesser disappointment. If there’s no return, you know you did you best and you gained a lesson. If there’s return, it’s a bonus!
- Connect with nature
Take a breather. Appreciate and have a closer look of your surroundings. When is the last time you have a look at the sun rise or the sunset? Aren’t you glad that we are all still breathing and living? A lot of people don’t survive to see the next sunrise. And if you are able to read this on your laptop or mobile phone, you know you are not in poverty. Appreciate the little things in life.
Albert Einstein once said
“Look deep into Nature, and then you will understand everything better.”
- Keep a journal for things to be grateful of
As I said I have tons of things to be grateful for. And I’m pretty sure all of you have that too. The more grateful you are for things that’s happening to you, the happier you will be. It can be anything big or small, such as I’m grateful that I made it to the gym today, or, I’m glad to have gave up the seat on the bus to someone who needs it more than me. Focus on happy things. Come up with a journal and see how that can change your outlook of your life.
- Stick to healthy lifestyle. Sleep and wake up on time
Nasty food makes you feel nasty. You feel horrible in and out. Opt for healthy food. Have enough sleep. Have some workout. Take time to relax. Read a book. Listen to chill out music before sleep. Leave your phone alone.
- Take action.
Make conscious effort to be positive. My suggestion, if you find yourself gossiping about others, stop it immediately. It doesn’t help you to be happier and it doesn’t help the person you are gossiping about to be better. So it become pointless and it became a waste of time. You rarely see a gossiper have a happy face. Right?
Surround yourself with happy and positive people. Be nice, hold door for strangers whenever you can. The smile of gratitude from the stranger can make your entire day better. Don’t read negative stuff and don’t over-worry on unnecessary stuff.
- Don’t believe negative things people said about you
Understand the human psychology that sometimes people say negative things about you just make themselves feel better. What they said about you might not be true. Learn how to tell the difference. Be honest with yourself. If it is constructive, you can always take that advice to improve yourself. But if not, then what they think of you is not your fault.
Move away from things or people that makes you unhappy. Remember, being happy is your right. If someone constantly say nasty things that make you unhappy, walk away from them. You can’t stop nasty people from saying nasty things, but you can always choose not to listen to them. The choice is yours.
We only live once. Why not be happier?